The easiest way is to set the horizontal margin ratio to 1:1 and let memoir recalculate and apply it:
\setlrmargins{*}{*}{1}
\checkandfixthelayout
The arguments to \setlrmargins are spine margin, fore-edge margin, and ratio, if you omit a value by writing just* it will be calculated.
If you don't like to use memoir commands the specify page dimensions, you can check the original code how margins are set depending on the twoside option. Originally it's:
\if@twoside
\setlength\@tempdima {\paperwidth}
\addtolength\@tempdima {-\textwidth}
\setlength\oddsidemargin {.4\@tempdima}
\addtolength\oddsidemargin {-1in}
\setlength\marginparwidth {.6\@tempdima}
\addtolength\marginparwidth{-\marginparsep}
\addtolength\marginparwidth{-0.4in}
\else
\setlength\@tempdima {\paperwidth}
\addtolength\@tempdima {-\textwidth}
\setlength\oddsidemargin {.5\@tempdima}
\addtolength\oddsidemargin {-1in}
\setlength\marginparwidth {.5\@tempdima}
\addtolength\marginparwidth{-\marginparsep}
\addtolength\marginparwidth{-0.8in} % don't know why this isn't .4
\fi
So, you could do the required part in your preamble:
\documentclass[openright,twoside]{memoir}
\usepackage[english]{babel}
\usepackage{blindtext}
\makeatletter
\setlength\@tempdima {\paperwidth}
\addtolength\@tempdima {-\textwidth}
\setlength\oddsidemargin {.5\@tempdima}
\addtolength\oddsidemargin {-1in}
\setlength\marginparwidth {.5\@tempdima}
\addtolength\marginparwidth{-\marginparsep}
\addtolength\marginparwidth{-0.8in} % don't know why this isn't .4
\setlength\evensidemargin\oddsidemargin
\makeatother
\begin{document}
\blindtext[15]
\chapter{test}
\end{document}
I additionally set \evensidemargin equal to \oddsidemargin. With this example you will see symmetric page layout, page 4 is empty and chapter 1 starts at page 5, which is odd.