You can just use regular xcolor and hyperref methods for colouring elements. Here's an example:
% !TEX TS-program = XeLaTeX
\documentclass{article}
\usepackage{fontspec}
\usepackage{xcolor}
\usepackage{hyperref}
\hypersetup{colorlinks=true,urlcolor={black!40}}
\newcommand{\deemph}[1]{{\color{black!40}#1}}
\begin{document}
This is some text and \deemph{this is some deemphasized text}.
This is a grey link: \href{http://tex.stackexchange.com}{TeX Stack Exchange}
\end{document}
