Overrated or not, it is the case that tikz cannot do this by default. Also, somewhat annoyingly it isn't possible to use \lipsum[1] as an argument for text key in the text along path decoration (which I concede is entirely my fault).
A proper solution would take a bit more work, so here's a crude - but servicable - hack:
\documentclass{standalone}
\usepackage{tikz}
\usetikzlibrary{decorations.text}
\makeatletter
\let\pgf@lib@dec@text@dobox@original=\pgf@lib@dec@text@dobox%
\def\pgf@lib@dec@text@dobox{%
\pgf@lib@dec@text@dobox@original%
\ifpgfdecorationtextalongpathscaletext%
\pgfmathparse{\pgf@lib@dec@text@endscale+(\pgf@lib@dec@text@startscale-\pgf@lib@dec@text@endscale)*\pgfdecoratedremainingdistance/\pgfdecoratedpathlength}%
\setbox\pgf@lib@dec@text@box=\hbox{\scalebox{\pgfmathresult}{\box\pgf@lib@dec@text@box}}%
\fi%
}
\newif\ifpgfdecorationtextalongpathscaletext
\def\pgf@lib@dec@text@startscale{1}
\def\pgf@lib@dec@text@endscale{1}
\pgfkeys{/pgf/decoration/.cd,
text path start scale/.code={%
\pgfdecorationtextalongpathscaletexttrue%
\def\pgf@lib@dec@text@startscale{#1}%
},
text path end scale/.code={%
\pgfdecorationtextalongpathscaletexttrue%
\def\pgf@lib@dec@text@endscale{#1}%
}
}
\begin{document}
\begin{tikzpicture}[
decoration={
reverse path,
text along path,
text path start scale=1.5,
text path end scale=0,
text={Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit,
sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.
Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris
nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in
reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla
pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt
inculpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.}}
]
\draw [decorate]
(0,0)
\foreach \i [evaluate={\r=(\i/2000)^2;}] in {0,5,...,2880}{ -- (\i:\r)};
\useasboundingbox (-2.75,-2.75) rectangle (2.75,2.75);
\end{tikzpicture}
\end{document}

tikzis more convenient for me, but your answer was definitely worth having as well! – Mohan Jan 2 at 16:59