With modern distributions, you can't, for security reasons: the idea is that tex input files should only allow files to be written at the same level or lower in the directory hierarchy, because tex will happily overrwrite preexisting files. Reading is ok, as with \input{../xyz}
but the trouble is that \include{../xyz}
causes writing of a file ../xyz.aux
, which is not permitted.
One workaround is, as you said, to use symbolic links. Another (not recommended) is to deactivate the security feature:
- in miktex: set environment variable
MIKTEX_ALLOWUNSAFEOUTPUTFILES=1
- in most other tex distributions, set
openout_any=a
The best thing is to avoid needing to include files from parent directories. This is good anyway because then the structure of your files can mirror the logical structure of the document.